For most of my adult life, my work revolved around discipline, orders, and precision. Fourteen years in the military shaped a mindset built on clarity, speed, and directness. When I transitioned into private security, those habits served me well. I was leading teams of former military personnel, operating in high-pressure environments where being firm, structured, and uncompromising was often the right approach.
Then I moved into the corporate world.
Suddenly, I was managing civilians, talented professionals, but people who approached leadership and accountability very differently. When someone told me “No” or “I can’t,” my instinct was to push harder, to demand performance through authority. I wasn’t used to hesitation or refusal. In my world, you did the job, or you didn’t belong on the team. But that approach quickly created tension. People withdrew. Communication broke down. I realised I could command compliance, but not respect, and certainly not collaboration.
It wasn’t until I began working as a paralegal, alongside my role in the security industry, that things started to shift. I wasn’t studying law formally, I was simply doing the work, reviewing correspondence, analysing disputes, writing responses, and helping to resolve complex issues.
But in doing so, I was forced to slow down.
- To listen.
- To read tone and intention.
- To understand how people behave when they’re angry, anxious, or under pressure.
Disputes are emotional by nature. Even the most professional exchanges carry undertones of fear, frustration, or pride. The more I dealt with those situations, the more I learned that communication isn’t about overpowering someone’s position, it’s about understanding it.
Over time, that understanding began to transform how I managed people.
- I stopped reacting and started analysing.
- I stopped assuming and started asking.
And I realised that empathy isn’t weakness; it’s control of a different kind, the kind that diffuses rather than escalates.
Today, as Managing Director of a global security company, those lessons are at the heart of how I lead. I deal daily with clients, partners, and staff from all walks of life, from high-net-worth families and executives to field teams and corporate boards. I’ve learned that calm, structured communication achieves far more than authority alone.
Working as a paralegal didn’t just make me better at handling disputes, it made me a better manager, communicator, and human being. I still carry the old me, the discipline, the directness, the willingness to make tough calls. But now I also carry the ability to pause, to listen, and to understand the person on the other side before deciding how to respond.
That balance, between firmness and empathy, has been the single most valuable professional change of my life. And beyond that, it has broadened my outlook entirely. The skills I’ve gained as a paralegal, analysis, negotiation, emotional intelligence, and clarity of communication, will absolutely support me in transitioning into another career if I ever choose to.
What’s been especially rewarding is seeing those efforts already recognised. Since joining the NALP Paralegal Register, I’ve begun receiving genuine service enquiries from individuals and businesses seeking support, clear evidence that these skills are both needed and valued.
Because ultimately, learning to understand people as well as problems is a skill that translates anywhere.
